I came up with the name INSURRECKTION because I figured it would make this blog sound like a Wu-Tang album and the idea of that intrigued me at the time. Will it actually convey, in words, the Wu's musical message of committing violence, being sad because loved ones died of violence, drug abuse, or ODB's endearing yet absolutely insane gibberish? One can only hope.
But in reality I really started writing this post today because I have no friends.
I'd like to have friends, don't get me wrong, but I've reached the point in my life where I just don't think people like me all that much. In my youth, my wonderful twenties (which were horrible), I never cared about making friends but somehow I always did. Friends would just happen upon me and it was not a big deal to me. I still holed up in my bedroom playing guitar, doing drugs, and hating myself.
I think I may have took that youthful friend gaining ability and ran it straight into the ground with years upon years upon years of anti-social behavior. Avoiding phone calls at all costs, even if it was someone I loved and wanted to talk to because... because I just couldn't. I had no gumption for it. I avoided get togethers like the plague... unless somehow they took place at my house where in I would sauce myself up rather quickly and thoroughly with Miller High Life until the people went away.
It seems so funny to me because for however many years I holed myself in a bedroom, avoiding life at all costs, I felt content to do so. I was making art. I was writing music. I was watching TV and finding it intriguing. I was studying subjects and getting smarter and smarter by the day. People were paying me in weed to write their college term papers. To me that was the life.
But fast forward to the here and now and I can't even tell you how absolutely bored I am of everything. TV is.. just... I cant compute TV any longer I just simply don't care. If I try to watch a movie on Netflix I end up going through 5 or 6 movies before I can settle on something because every movie is just ridiculous to me. Movies are boring as fuck. I'm sick and tired, and somewhat disgruntled, about being bombarded with the exact same plot lines and exact same screen play structures that have been brow beat into my skull since day one of my existence. Thats 33 years of the same bullshit, I'm done.
Music, movies, news, internet memes, fun anecdotes, people getting 2 facebook likes for creating a piece of art and then 150 facebook likes for getting a new job. Fuck you.
And I know I started off this post stating I have no friends and these paragraphs really are proving it but... I don't care. My time for friendship is done, I am now an old codger complaining about the society that surrounds me. So be it.
I am very seriously sick and tired of my place in America and the media machine society monster that permeates my skull daily. This is why I left facebook.
My life at this moment in time consists of working a customer service job where I am passive aggressively made to feel less than by co-workers and higher ups and then get told how terrible and horrible I am by people on the phone. "No ma'am I am not authorized to send you 6 coupons when your issue was just with the one can of tuna" Customer; "You Suck, FUCK YOU". Wow what a great career choice I've carved out for myself. I am confronted with the dregs of our nation every time I work and I work ALLL THEEEEE TTTIIIMME.
My private time is spend in the murky depths of a suburban basement and doing nothing but staring at and speaking with various screens. That's what it consists of.
I have no car. I'm taking my permit test next week...,,,,,,ehreheowfhalkejfakjfe,,,,,,
I'm about to post this... lets see how many new friends I get!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment